Not happy at all

My last 15 tournments, internet and live where in my opinion, wp by me. I got 1 out 2 ITM live ( and I finish 37º out 240 players in BPPT ) and 8 out 13 ITM internet.
But I never finish top 5º places. When I get more aggressive something happend. I´m in front pre flop or when the flop come but either the turn or the river kill me. It´s becoming very frustrating...
Shit shit shit
today same BS
I played 4,444grt in betfair for the 1st time its a 6$ rebuy.
I made double rebuy and the add on ( sick by the way 10k add on??? omg ). I was roller coster all tournment but always above average.
Got to say that on the 1st hour I had cold deck low pocket pair ( 55, 22 and 77 ) and never hit the set on the flop or turn, and I caught Akoff once.
On the 2nd hour I got the cowboys ( kk ) and re-raise the chip leader of the table. he went all in ( TT ) I call. nothing helped him and I become chip leader.
after that I got on 2 or 3 races and went up and donw in the 60-90k range.
well, once again Itm and I had 5th chip stack out 19th. with 112k. I got to be honest I was not looking at people stack but I had a radio announcer in the table ( I was smiling to my self because this must be his 1st ITM he was so damm exited - I was happy for him ).
well with 5 players in the table, 141k chips and the the blinds 10k-5k 1k( ante). I got AK in Button I raise to 35k the SB fold and the BB called.
well i quickly start thinking what kind of hand he got to call me. well he was the chip leader with 330k so he got a wide range of hands to make the call but he was a tricky player.
the flop Js Ad 3c
he check and I start thinking and asked for time ( i had 45sec in time bank )
AJ= sick
33, jj= even sicker
AA = not in a milion years
so I decided to bet
but with 105 pot bet what?
so i decided to shove
and he called with JJ
BS
again I finish ITM again out of the FT
I couldn´t check imo because he could had a pocket pair and could hit the turn or river. with 101back there was no other bet i could make imo. well, all this ITM 1 year ago would make me proud because it shows consistency but not now. I want to win but dont be mistaken I´m not on tilt, LOL, I´m just not happy at all.



doyle brunson always say " You got to give action to get action " I dont think I´m a easy guy to read in internet Because I´m always changing my style in the table and tomorrow when I play my 300$+20$ ticket to final to estoril, I hope I get ITM again lol that will mean I will be in estoril 1,000,000k grt next fev.

cmon baby lets play the cards
francisco the truth k